This is the post excerpt.
Hello my Beautiful Women of God. I’m so happy to be able to take this journey with you all & to Share Life experiences in Joy & Pain. My goal is to Empower & Encourage us in our times of heartache & sorrow; in Happiness or Darkened days. I’ve been in so many places of Emotions I most went through them alone. I isolated myself crying all night, asking God why, I even had suicidal thoughts to just ending my life to ease the pain. Sadly we tend to let the enemy win and we need to know there is a Healing in The Name Of Jesus & he is our friend. He wants to meet us where we are in life and Let us know that he is here, he does listen, and he is going to get you through any circumstance that tries to tear you down. He loves us and wants us to connect with him. Discovering God in a new way has opened my heart and mind to a relationship that is the most indescribable words of feeling I can’t explain. It’s a process I will be honest & I
know it may not be for everybody but this site is for those who seek truth and want to know how to find healing and be FREE!!
God has a vision for all of us when we were created in the womb.
Provision 1. The act of providing or making previous preparation. 2. Things provided; preparation; measures taken beforehand, either for security, defense or attack, or for the supply of wants. We make provision to defend ourselves form enemies; we make provision for war; we make provision for a voyage or for erecting a building; we make provision for the support of the poor.
But what do we know about the Provision God wants for our lives? He provides diffrent than we expect, he knows our needs and desires Mathew6:8. God provides more of himself to us than we even pay attention too. He is doing things 10,000x’s before we even get to it, seek the kingdom first delight yourself in the lord he will give the desires in your heart (pslam37:4). Every good gift comes from heaven John1:17 God given us his greatest treasure Jesus christ. We may not receive healing in this life, but we will receive perfect healing in eternity. We may not see answers to our greatest prayers in this life, but we will receive fully in eternity. Some days God’s provision and care may seem distant, but it will be ever-present in eternity. We long for our world to stop raging and be at peace, but ultimate peace will only come in eternity.
So give God glory and praise. Let him be head in your life to lead you & show u his love for you in ways through relationship & worship. We have the most gracious seats in the kingdom for we were made in our fathers image so we have more power in us than we tap into. It’s time to acknowledge what we were made to do and bring those close to him.
God’s NeverEnding Story says:
You can make it on broken pieces & to live on what you have left. Every relationship every blessing isn’t meant to last. Sometimes God doesn’t do what you think “He” should do for you; But does what is “Best” for you. Don’t allow life to change your name of whom you are & who you were to be. “No More Bitterness”
Its been a very long time. Had to recollect myself & get God in my life to help me get through my darkest moments. Its the Holidays again and yet again im alone. I try not to think about my ex because to him he wasnt my ex just someone i was having fun with for 5 yrs. Idk why he goes out his way to hurt me i done nothing to him. I decided to let him be and ignore contact as much as possible. You get tired being hurt constantly and felt unworthy. He doesnt even know himself or what love is. He isnt worth it anymore. He doesnt deserve me or our daughter. Our relationship has perished and i dont know if it could ever be prepared from what he done to me and said. Christmas is near so till then i say happy holidays and remember our Savior
The despair of my pain my heart is broken blew my mind and my heart of the same the fire that burns Within Me cries out for saving alone in my room in the Darkness I feel like as presence in my room. I say who are you what do you want why are you here as the lights brighter and brighter and brighter I was surrounded by nothing but light, still the tears roll down my eyes I’m crying I’m crying out loud what is going on and all I heard was a voice in a whisper my daughter I’m tired of seeing you cry it’s sad to see you cry it hurts to see you cry all the time that you have cried I’ve counted your tears all the times that you were angry at me for thinking that I allow things to happen and all I’ve been trying to do is show you how strong you are and how to grow I felt a presence that I could not imagine is take hold of me in my darkest times. I’m done crying I’m so done going through this God where are You?
I’m screaming mad in my head and I’m too scared to tell anyone I’m hurting. I can’t tell the one who caused this because we have a baby together. He left me feeling alone and abandoned and embarrassed that he would do this to me. I was there. I was in love with the best friend he made himself to me. He turned cold when our daughter was conceived. He acts like he doesn’t know me anymore, he doesn’t want to go out or have any type of relationship with me. So why wouldn’t I want to die? Why wouldn’t I want to leave and move away. How can I be around this person after what he did? 6 years down the drain, I’ve been utterly heartbroken and not ready to move on because I’m scared of love. I don’t have faith in people anymore. I don’t trust. I want to but I’ve been convicted by my brokenness that it won’t allow me to see any good in human love. I’ve asked God to heal me but it’s been taking a long time. Day by day but slowly. It’s hard when kids are involved so I understand now that pain. So what is it to do from Weeping out my tear ducts? Nothing but let God do what he is going to do & fix you & fix whom hurt you into better and you to forgive & stay lifted by reading scriptures or keeping busy to rid your mind from it. Remember if someone’s walks out your life it means they weren’t meant to be in it. If he can chase you and then drop you when you get pregnant and decide he doesnt want to move forward anymore then he was never worth your beautiful time. Maybe the Lord will fix his heart and heal his brokenness but you have to leave that up to God. The sin was in the conceiving but not our child being here. Their is purpose behind pain. It will show sooner than you and I think. These are constant convos i have with God daily about the situation but I trust him to guide me and keep me covered
Sometimes are darkest moments take a turn on us. We believe in our own thoughts. The ones where the demons speak the things we tried to forget that gets us at our weakest and we snap. I’ve snapped in another mindset that caused me to drift from my Heavenly father to a realm of an Abyss of loneliness. I’ve considered the possibility of leaving this world in hope of relief of heartache, disappointing life struggles, and feelings of worthlessness. It’s hard when you feel you have no one to talk to that would listen or really care enough to talk you through it. I didn’t. I went through it alone. I just wanted to be alone. I would pray I would cry but the hurt just impounded so deep all I could hear is you’ll find peace. You’ll be free of this wretched world. No more fear no more pain. Then I remember that’s where Heaven is. That’s my destination. Someday but not today. Not like this. This isnt what my life is going to be told. This is not going to be a sob story. I AM Triumphant, I AM Worth more than this. I know my God looks out for me and has Waited for me to have a relationship to be real with him as he meets me on my level. Those negative voices or images of past pain or present are nothing, and not stronger than what God can fix and pull u through. Trusting and believing there is healing on the other side of the rain clouds pulls me through all the time. Things may not be where you want and people come any go out your life but it’s all for a purpose in building you into a purpose God has planned for your life. Amen
If you ever felt that way or still feel that way I ask u to please talk to someone or call because suicide is never the answer. We all have much to love for and what brings me back is my babies need their mom & my work here on Earth is not Finished. Be blessed
Fear is a horrible thing to go through; to feel in your spirit along with thoughts that consume your mind. Have you ever thought of crazy stuff? Like Wow why did that even come to mind ….then I’m like wow I’m 3 seconds away from being in a suit lol
But the Bible tells us our thoughts aren’t our own mostly the enemy toys to plague our minds with things that aren’t even true to God’s words. He is a trickster & is working ever so hard to see if we will break. But know in the midst of your doubts & emotions of flesh bound worries , your father my God is there while you go through everything u do. I know when it feels bad it’s like Father where are you? But even King David said in Psalm 139 no matter where I go Thou are with me . He knows what’s going on sometimes he is just waiting for us to say and talk to him on our level and be open minded to receive him.
I’ve screamed & prayed but slowly as I stayed obedient the more he reveals himself to you letting you know he has your back & your WINNING 🙂
BE BLESSED ALL
Mountains move and oceans are deep. I run through the fire to stay awake from my sleep. Because the pain is still there my heart is still connected and my soul hadn’t healed from the abyss of torment you’ve put me through. Oh I cry out loud to the Lord please give me strength to overcome these feelings please help me find myself again through this Underland realm of despair & shame for I long for my joy to return to my face & a rainbow to shine reference that my God has saved me & has redeemed me to Anew
Poem thanks for reading 😊